How many footballers does it take to change a light bulb?

The media circus is set to descend on South Africa as the World Cup kicks off this Friday. We will inevitably be blessed with the pearls of wisdom and expert analysis from TV pundits, managers and players alike.  Whilst offering us insight into the why’s and wherefores, many a Freudian gaffe has been made.
We look back at some of the classic statements made in the past and hope that this World Cup brings us more clichés, random thoughts and bizarre excuses.

Thierry Henry waves to fans after his infamous hand ball against the Republic of Ireland. Photo © Cleva Media

“The goal was scored a little bit by the hand of God, a little by the head of Maradona.” Diego Maradona

“We are now concentrating fully on Ireland and this will be a very important match. But on the other hand we should not try to score at any price because we are not obliged to win.“ Thierry Henry

“Statistics are like miniskirts:
 They give you good ideas but hide the important things” Ebbe Skovdahl – Danish Football Manager

“Is the Pope Catholic. No I’m serious, is he? I really need
 to know” – when asked if he might be moving to AS Roma David Beckham

“He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it
 – you can see it all over their faces.” Ron Atkinson

“Julian Dicks is everywhere.

 It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.’” Metro Radio

“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.” Terry Venables

David Beckham reflects whilst playing for AC Milan © Cleva Media/Insidefoto

“We haven’t been scoring goals, but football’s not just about scoring goals. It’s about winning.” Alan Shearer

“I don’t read the papers, I don’t gamble, I don’t even know what day it is! Steve Mclaren

“Right now, everything is going wrong for me – if I fell in a barrel of boobs, I’d come out sucking my thumb!“ Ian Holloway

“He’s pulling him off!

 The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!” George Hamilton commenting on Spain’s manager Luis Suarez’s substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland.

“He’s got his legs back, of course, or his leg – he’s always had one but now he’s got two“ Bobby Robson

“My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.” David Beckham

By Eoin Mundow