The definition of a cheat – Luis Suarez

Last night's villain Luis Suarez. Photo © Cleva Media/Insidefoto

Luis Suarez’s name will go down in folklore, but for all the wrong reasons.  As I sit to down to write this all too familiar story that has again brought shame on the tournament, football and yes again FIFA, I am still trying to make sense of what just happened. When Suarez cheated by slapping the ball away with his hands in the final minute of extra time and subsequently preventing Ghana from glory and a historic World Cup victory, he laid himself bear for the World to judge him as a person and sportsman.

Somebody once gave me an interesting piece of advice, they told me if you want to judge a man play sport with him. There is no better way to observe the characteristics of a man. If he cheats at sport then you have your answer about the moral fabric that makes up this human being. You can guarantee that he will cheat in all areas of life, whether it is in business, relationships and so on.

The definition of a cheat is – to deceive; influence by fraud: He cheated us into believing him a hero.

I cannot abide cheats, but love sport and those who feel the urge to go to these extreme measures for the sake of winning I can only pity. To see Luis Suarez demonstrate such a Jekyll and Hyde persona when leaving the field crying one minute and cheering the next only compounds my belief that Football is lost.  As the commentators, journalists and TV pundits explain that this is football, the drama, the passion, cliché after cliché, would they then explain in the same rhetoric a thief coming into their house at night and stealing their most valuable and treasured possessions as drama?

OK it may sound dramatic, but Ghana was robbed of victory. No amount of excuses about Suarez using the rules to his advantage is going to wash with me. FIFA need to add this the long list of catastrophic blunders that have blighted this World Cup and act on making the game fair as they always proclaim it is.  I have made reference before to rugby, which has embraced technology and also changes it’s rules so it does not accommodate or tolerate cheating. This is a sport, which has only been professional for less than two decades, yet it moves forward each year and in comparison to the dinosaurs that run football, it takes its reputation seriously.

It is quite simple and does not cost a large sum of money to make these essential rule changes. What we ask is not draconian, just common sense. If FIFA want to run their organisation in such a prehistoric manner, may I suggest they introduce a method, which is still common practice in some countries, to chop off the hand of a thief?   This course of action would have been highly effective, as it would obviously stop the culprit from perpetrating again.  OK, I’m joking, but you get the idea. In the modern day we simply ask that this sort of behaviour be punished accordingly and if it happens again the goal be given and a red card issued.

I found it unpleasant to watch Uruguay celebrate with such indignity as they swindled a victory from the hands of defeat. No solace for Ghana or ownership of any wrongdoing by their opponents. No, they ran around shamelessly as they won on penalties. An unrepentant Suarez explained after the match;

“I had no choice. I have the ‘Hand of God’ now. I did it so that my team-mates could win the penalty shoot-out. When I saw Gyan miss the penalty, it was a great joy.”

The Uruguayans will now go on to face Holland in the Semi Final after the Dutch stunned Brazil with their fighting spirit. I only hope that Holland can right the wrongs of today’s injustice by beating Uruguay. Whilst one can dwell on the negative, the Uruguayan team for me now pale into insignificance for me.

I would like to praise a Ghanaian team who played some great football and showed the team spirit and camaraderie that so many other teams would be proud of. My abiding memories and those of many other football fans from around the world will be watching the Black Stars battle against the odds and carry the hopes of African football into the second phase of the World Cup.  It may be a bitter pill to swallow, but in this defeat they have won, showing people the true spirit in which the game should be played.

Ghana united in defeat. © Cleva Media/Motivio

Uruguay on other hand may have won the match, but they have lost my respect for the manner in which they claimed victory. I believe in karma and as has been proven in the past, if you cheat to win, your victory is hollow. It may taste sweet now, but what normally follows are the painful repercussions of your actions. One clear example of cheating that has resulted in a spectacular fall from grace is the case of Thierry Henry and France. To cheat so blatantly and show no remorse illustrates that Uruguay and Luis Suarez do not possess the skill and moral fortitude to still be in the World Cup. Although they have been knocked down, Ghana will come again and have won many admirers and fans.

To Luis Suarez I can only sum up your actions by quoting Winston Churchill;

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

Shame on you Luis Suarez, shame on Uruguay.

By Eoin Mundow

Rainbow Nation – The Soap Opera!

John Terry reacts during the match against the USA. Photo © Cleva Media/Insidefoto

As the Northern Europeans lose it, their apparently hot-headed Latin counterparts are all sitting pretty having qualified for the knockout stages with ease. Both Argentina and Brazil have qualified for the knockout stages without breaking a sweat (Kaka’s unjustifiable sending off aside) and whilst all around him are losing their heads, decorum and self-respect, one man, El Diego, is looking assured and confident.  Who would have thought that Diego Maradona, dressed in a conservative yet stylish grey suit would resemble a senior statesmen and have the air of composure and maturity normally befitting a manager with years of experience at International level.

His confidence comes from the reassurance and knowledge that his players have the commitment, skill and the respect for him to enable them to perform to the highest level. A team bursting with stars who have left their egos at home, you do not hear of dissent from any of the players that are left on the bench such as Champions League winner Diego Milito or that Lionel Messi or Carlos Tevez not being happy with the service they receive. They simply play to their strengths and have one goal –  to become World Champions. This is not something that cannot be achieved individually, it can only be achieved by a team of players that are willing to be there for one another, no matter how famous they are.

In stark comparison, this World Cup England and France have given us more diva’s than Dynasty. In a time where players, their agents and the Football Associations have lost sight of what makes a team successful. Egos have far outweighed the level of skill and commitment that is required and demanded to fulfil a successful World Cup campaign. There should be less emphasis on the importance of individuals and their ability to win the cup for any given team, as this just gives rise to the mistaken belief that one player is far more important than another. England have suffered from this epidemic for a long time, whether it be Wayne Rooney this World Cup or David Beckham in the past. The expectation heaped upon these players is ultimately counter productive and causes friction within the squad.

This pantomime is indicative of the World we live in today with so much media and public attention given to dire programmes like “Britain’s got Talent” or “Star Academy”. The most common misconception – many people actually believe that Britain does have talent! The format of these programmes was created to highlight the dearth of quality entertainment we have in our country and somewhere along the line, people (many of whom believe England can win the World Cup) have got it twisted and actually believe Britain was again Great. Any country that has the arrogance to call itself Great in the first instance is setting itself up for a large fall.

Like the English and French teams, the public have become lazy and lost sight of reality, neither country possess this self-proclaimed talent and have not done so for a long-time. The next move may be for the FA to consult with Simon Cowell to give the boys that X-factor.  Nothing would surprise me in this day and age, but comparisons could be made between the England team’s performance and Simon Cowell’s former clients’ number one hit “Here come the Teletubbies”, they were both horrific!

This latest performance by England is a reality and it is being played out for all to see live and in HD on TV.

NATO needs to call an emergency meeting to get these loose canons in line. England, Germany, Spain and France are normally united in their show of responsible and reasonable behaviour, but with the latest diplomatic ‘faux pas’ the rest of the World must be laughing!
The usual cool and composed German coach Joachim Loew lost his cool when his young side lost 1-0 to a resolute Serbian team. Following their scintillating performance against the Socceroo’s, Germany lost their nerve and didn’t capitalise on their great start to the tournament. Loew snapped late in the game throwing a bottle of water to the ground in disgust.

Joachim Low (Loew) loses his cool and throws a bottle of water during the match against Serbia. Photo © Cleva Media/Motivio

When John Terry becomes the man of reason for England you know your are in trouble. A player whose personal morals have to be questioned and is happy to try to impose a super injunction against the press reporting on his personal misdemeanours, now wants to share his pearls of wisdom and for us to listen! The only place that he should be trying express himself is on the field. Fabio Capello has proven himself as a world-class manager and must be wondering what he did to deserve such a shower of under achieving spoilt brats. I’m sure £6m a year can sooth some of the pain, but as predicted following his outburst in Rustenburg, the press are sharpening La Guillotine and Fabio will be sitting on the beach in 3 weeks time wondering WTF just happened!

Finally, one can’t help but laugh at the French team’s plight. A team that cheated their way to the World Cup in the first place are now in free fall and have even called upon President Sarkozy to end the feud which has outraged their Nation. The public will be divided on who is right and who is wrong, but many would have cheered as Nicolas Anelka told Raymond Domenech exactly what he thought of him. Maybe not in the same rhetoric, but I have yet to meet a French person who actually likes Domenech, but then again same could be said for Anelka.

Just like the first lady Carla Bruni’s attempts to grow old gracefully, no amount of Botox could cover the cracks within this French team, which appear to get deeper and deeper by the day. This is one French institution in need of a major facelift, lets hope Laurent Blanc has the necessary skills to sculpt a new and improved French national team rather than this disjointed bunch of playboys.

One thing is for sure, this World Cup has been far from dull. Maybe the action on the pitch has not always lived up to what we expected, but the temperamental diva’s from the soap opera “Rainbow Nation” have given us lots to smile and laugh about.

Dodgy Balls, Man Love and Sweet Revenge

A Mexico fan. Photo © Cleva Media/AMA

The World Cup is alive and kicking again!

Just at it appeared that rigamortis was starting to set in, Diego and his boys resuscitated the flagging tournament and showed us why we tuned in. The attacking flair of the Pumas was a sight to behold and to think Milito was not even in the starting line up. I’m still impressed with South Korea, they could shock someone in the knockout stages should they make it. The UK press continue to try to poke fun at Maradona, this time (as we covered in our previous post ‘The Madness and magic of Maradona’) asking him why he expresses joy and affection for his players by kissing them.

A bemused Diego Maradona responded “Well I still prefer women. I am dating Veronica who is blond and 31-years-old. No I have not gone limpwristed. But I like to acknowledge and congratulate my players when they play as well as they did today. That was a pleasing result and display. It was a job well done.”

Be warned, the UK press can make fun of ‘El Diego’ all they want, but if history should have taught them anything, it could come back to bite them on the arse. England need to concentrate on winning their games rather than the press reopening the same old wounds and grudges from the past. It won’t be long before the tabloids print “The Germans are coming” or making reference to the Falklands if we face Argentina. In 2010 I hope we see a new approach to how we tease our opponents.

With both Nigeria and South Africa on the verge of going out of the World Cup following their recent defeats, it is left to Didier Drogba’s Ivory Coast,  Ghana and Algeria to carry the hopes of Africa.  With the current wave of upsets, lets hope one of these three teams can add to the excitement. With Robert Green in goal, plus the Adidas Jabulani ball which has been vilified by Fabio Capello who stated  “This ball is the worst ball that I have seen in my life” anything is possible or is it impossible is nothing?

My brothers in green and white did us all a favour and put the skids on France reaching another final. Whilst it is all still mathematically possible for them to reach the second round, Mexico and Uruguay only have to draw to send the ‘Aristocats’ back to Paris empty-handed. Whilst Raymond “Parker” Domenech looked on bemused from the touchline and had the air of a bored pensioner waiting to catch a bus, there was no gesticulating, no passion or desire to bring on public enemy number one Thierry Henry to change the course of the game. He simply looked bored and resigned to picking up his golden handshake before riding off into the sunset.  I ask myself what was the point of the French losing the respect of the footballing World by denying the Republic of Ireland a replay, just so they could put up this tepid display?

France Manager, Raymond Domenech. Photo © Cleva Media/Sportsphoto

I have to say well done to Mexico, they played really well and rather than be wound up by Florent Malouda’s petulance they responded in the best way possible. Two goals and the prospect of keeping up their good record of qualifying for the knockout stages of the World Cup again. Many an Irish fan will be waking up today with a tequila hangover after toasting to the Mexican’s great victory, Slante!

A final thought, after their shock defeat against Switzerland expect Spain to come back with a vengeance. Losing was possibly the best thing that could have happened for us the viewer, now Spain with all their creative brilliance and attacking flair will have to throw caution to the wind. I say give Torres his chance and we will see a hatful of goals!

By Eoin Mundow

The World Cup so far…it’s giving me the horn!

A fan of South Africa blows his Vuvuzela horn. Photo © Cleva Media/AMA

South Korea are the surprise package so far in this World Cup. England may do well to request a new UN resolution to inspect their training methods, as they could learn much from the compact and incisive football of the Koreans.  I was impressed with the way they outplayed Greece, they could well go far in tournament.

Another enigmatic figure entertained us as he showed off his ball skills on the touchline whilst watching his star player Lionel Messi confirm why he is regarded as the best player in the world. Maradona’s Argentina put in a solid performance and were only denied a more convincing victory by the heroics of Nigerian goalkeeper Vincent Enyeama, a transfer target in the making.

The stage was then set for the ‘Three Lions’ to roar. With Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard leading them into battle they got off to a great start when Emile Heskey laid on a great pass for Gerrard to slot home the opener on the fourth minute. Following his defenses lapse in concentration, former Manchester United goalkeeper, Tim Howard, looked like he was going to spontaneously combust, his Tourette’s syndrome appearing to return in an instant as he chastised his players at every given opportunity. That was until, whilst in cruise control it happened as predicted, the England goalkeeper Robert Green dropped a clanger and then England chased the game, but to no avail.

Fabio Capello’s men tried as hard as they could, but 1-1 is not a terrible result against the USA. England are notoriously bad starters at the World Cup, although they are not great at finishing them either. However, having witnessed the dire match between Slovenia and Algeria they have nothing to fear and should qualify if they can overcome their defensive and attacking incompetence. At least they share one thing with Algeria…a dodgy goalkeeper!

The Black Stars kept the African dream alive by beating Serbia 1-0 and Germany have just upped the stakes by displaying a masterclass in free-flowing attacking football beating the Socceroos 4-0, the performance of the World Cup so far. Mesmut Ozil the young German winger looks like he could be one of the star players of the tournament. Joachim Loew has every right to look as cool as a cucumber, his young team have ominously clicked just at the right time.

If you thought the English press were unsympathetic and highly critical of their team, then spare a thought for the poor  French squad. Like a neurotic French girlfriend, the media are spitting feathers and debating whether their team is the most hated team at the World Cup! As a Republic of Ireland fan, I can’t really sympathize with them. Following their inclusion in the World Cup via the hand of Thierry Henry, Patrice Evra added more fuel to the fire when his bizarre excuse for the teams bad performance was due to the vuvuzela!

‘We can’t sleep at night because of the vuvuzela. People start playing them from 6am.’

‘We can’t hear one another out on the pitch because of them.’

With FIFA being pressured by the players and media to ban the horn synonymous with the World Cup in South Africa, I can’t help feeling that they would be acting like a grumpy father with a stinking hangover. Yes it’s annoying,  but you cannot simply give a child a toy to keep it amused for your own gain and then simply take it away when you have had enough, complaining that it’s giving you a headache. Unfortunately, although it may be irritating, it is music to my ears in comparison to listening to the chants of “Who are ya…who are ya?”

By Eoin Mundow

The madness and magic of Maradona

Argentina's Diego Armando Maradona before international friendly. November 14, 2009. Photo © Cleva Media/Alterphotos

The jury is out on Diego Maradona the Manager, but one thing is certain. Look no further for the star of  the World Cup in South Africa. Yes, Messi will be sublime and dazzle with his skills. Dutch flair will light up the stage until they meet their match. Spain will methodically break down their opposition and mug them with their guile and killer instinct. England will huff and puff, but will not blow the house down. Brazil will skip to the samba beat and bedazzle their opposition and Cristiano Ronaldo will dive with more grace and panache than British Gold medallist Tom Daley.

However, if ever there was a man to court controversy and deliver results in the face of adversity whilst putting two fingers up to the establishment it’s ‘El Diego’

. Love him or loath him, Maradona’s legend continues to grow. Controversy and acclaim have surrounded the diminutive icon from Buenos Aires. After years of drama and numerous stints in rehab, he has turned his life around. With players such as Lionel Messi, Diego Milito, Carlos Tevez, he has been graced with a squad that his rival managers would give their right arm for.

Whilst he displayed his magic on the pitch for Argentina inspiring a moderate team to clinch the World Cup in 1986 in Mexico, his methods have been less profound since being installed as the Pumas manager in November 2008. Maradona’s team selection has been derided by the media (he choose 90 players in the 15 games Argentina participated in whilst struggling to qualify for the World Cup).

Nevertheless, there may be a method to his madness as he has illustrated in the past, a life without living to extremes or taking risks is a life not worth living. No one remembers the manager/proverbial garden gnome that sits on the fence. Which other international manager would have been given the freedom to select so many players and risk qualification other than Diego Maradona?
You are dealing with an artist who needs the free reign to express himself and has the unequivocal desire to succeed. When all is said and done, I am sure that Diego Maradona will prove his critics wrong as he has done so many times before.
My pick to win the World Cup is Argentina. I think even Sir Bobby would look down with a wry smile should his old adversary hold aloft the World Cup trophy on July 11th. Any man brave enough to exchange saliva with Carlos Tevez gets my vote!

Diego Maradona and Carlos Tevez. Photo © Cleva Media/Argenpress

Diego Maradona  Fact file (Source: Wikipedia)

1976 – Debut with Argentinos Juniors aged 15.
1981 – £1m transfer to Boca Juniors.
1982 – Joins Barcelona in Spain for a then world record £5m.
1983 – Contracts hepatitis and suffers a broken leg threatening his career.
1984 – Transfer to Napoli in Italy’s Serie A for a record fee, £6.9m.
1986 – Leads Argentina to victory in the World Cup Final in Mexico against West Germany.
1986-89 – Claims two Serie A titles with Napoli and runners-up twice, UEFA Cup Final.
1990 – 1992 – Struggles with cocaine addiction, scandal over illegitimate son and connection to The Camorra (Mafia in Naples), loses out in the Final of the World Cup as Germany get revenge.
1992 – Suspended from football for 15 months in 1991 after failing a doping test for cocaine in Italy.
1994 – Sent home from the 1994 World Cup in the USA for using ephedrine.
1997 – Retired from playing on his 37th birthday in 1997.
1998 – 2007 – Battles with drugs, manages Boca Juniors, undergoes stomach stapling surgery and rehab for continued addiction to cocaine.
2008 – Becomes head coach of the Argentina national football team.  Argentina qualify for the World Cup in South Africa.

By Eoin Mundow

How many footballers does it take to change a light bulb?

The media circus is set to descend on South Africa as the World Cup kicks off this Friday. We will inevitably be blessed with the pearls of wisdom and expert analysis from TV pundits, managers and players alike.  Whilst offering us insight into the why’s and wherefores, many a Freudian gaffe has been made.
We look back at some of the classic statements made in the past and hope that this World Cup brings us more clichés, random thoughts and bizarre excuses.

Thierry Henry waves to fans after his infamous hand ball against the Republic of Ireland. Photo © Cleva Media

“The goal was scored a little bit by the hand of God, a little by the head of Maradona.” Diego Maradona

“We are now concentrating fully on Ireland and this will be a very important match. But on the other hand we should not try to score at any price because we are not obliged to win.“ Thierry Henry

“Statistics are like miniskirts:
 They give you good ideas but hide the important things” Ebbe Skovdahl – Danish Football Manager

“Is the Pope Catholic. No I’m serious, is he? I really need
 to know” – when asked if he might be moving to AS Roma David Beckham

“He dribbles a lot and the opposition don’t like it
 – you can see it all over their faces.” Ron Atkinson

“Julian Dicks is everywhere.

 It’s like they’ve got eleven Dicks on the field.’” Metro Radio

“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.” Terry Venables

David Beckham reflects whilst playing for AC Milan © Cleva Media/Insidefoto

“We haven’t been scoring goals, but football’s not just about scoring goals. It’s about winning.” Alan Shearer

“I don’t read the papers, I don’t gamble, I don’t even know what day it is! Steve Mclaren

“Right now, everything is going wrong for me – if I fell in a barrel of boobs, I’d come out sucking my thumb!“ Ian Holloway

“He’s pulling him off!

 The Spanish manager is pulling his captain off!” George Hamilton commenting on Spain’s manager Luis Suarez’s substitution of Butragueno during their world cup qualifier with Ireland.

“He’s got his legs back, of course, or his leg – he’s always had one but now he’s got two“ Bobby Robson

“My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.” David Beckham

By Eoin Mundow